Several generations ago, the normal route was to get married to one person very young, have children if possible, and stay together until death.
There wasn’t divorce.
There wasn’t living single.
Heck, there wasn’t even birth control.
Back then, our life expectancy was shorter, so we started earlier: we got married young, and had families, and we died young, too. There wasn’t time for more than one partner.
Besides, the survival of the family as a unit depended on staying together; the survival of the tribe, of the lineage, depended on marriage, procreation, monogamy.
So that’s what our ancestors did, faced with the realities they had.
But were our parents, grandparents, great grandparents happy?
Well, from the look on my great-grandparents faces in the one sepia photograph I have of them… well, let’s just say they were scowling.
They did not look happy.
They looked committed.
Not to each other, necessarily.
But to the future generations that they would see to survive.
Nowadays, we’ve got a really different set of evolutionary needs. Overpopulation is real problem in many areas; under population is a problem in others. We’re living longer than we even thought possible in some regions. We have more literacy than we ever had.
We’re opening up to all kinds of new possibilities for gender, sexual orientation, childlessness, single life… many all different ways of living.
So, the question remains: when we take all the restrictions and reasons for marriage and monogamy out of the question, does it still makes sense for humans to go that route?
I think we’re in the process of figuring this out.
For some people, finding the true Beloved isn’t the priority. They prefer a single life that’s fulfilled and rich.
For others, one person also isn’t the path. They may be in several or lots of love relationships over a lifetime.
For others, the deep soul mate is the priority in their lives, and they will move heaven and earth to find that person. It is their quest, their desire and their raison d’être to be with that one true Beloved.
The rules have change, because the reality has changed.
How you live has become a personal choice, with only one thing clear: Your grandparents aren’t going to decide for you.
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