There’s a fine line between living in the land of our dreams, where we are actively creating and manifesting our reality, and living in fantasy land, where we are hiding from the real world.
The way to tell the difference, is to notice what actions you are taking.
If you have a deep longing to be an artist, for example, it is a beautiful thing to dream and imagine the art you will create. However, the actions are what separate the artist from the non artist: you must draw or paint or photograph or whatever is your medium, and this must be the primary activity of your life, once you have finished with your responsibilities for keeping yourself and your family sheltered and fed.
If you’re not doing art, but just thinking about art… you’re living in fantasy.
The only way you can get to your dream is through action: even if you’re not good at art yet, even if what you put on the paper does not match what is in your mind.
Over time, with daily practice, with teachers and workshops, you will get better. This might take years, but it will happen.
This is why the journey to our dreams is a journey; we do not gain the experience we need from only dreaming and imagining and fantasizing about something.
We need to take active steps, in order to get there.
When we are attracted to someone, but they don’t love us back, or, it can be heartbreaking.
What’s important to keep sight of, is your own value.
So often we think if we just try harder, or are more available, or love better, or look nicer or whatever it is, that the object of our affection will suddenly look up and notice us with new eyes. Unfortunately, this isn’t true, and when we’re in this smitten, infatuated, love blind state, we can’t always see it.
When someone loves you and wants to be with you, if he or she is available, he or she will make it very clear. There isn’t any guessing, or wondering, or analyzing every move. There isn't any danger or drama or uncertainty.
There will be direct attraction, direct connection, and a very clear moving forward.
If you’re infatuated with someone, and you’re not seeing this type of movement, either that person is unavailable, or not interested in you.
This doesn’t mean you should try harder, or change even one little hair on your head.
Just accept that this person is not your soul mate, and move on. Your soul mate will be absolutely clear with his/her availability, desire and intention.
Wait for this.
If you are interested in having tantric experiences, or in having transcendent intimacy, you don’t need a lot of partners, or a new partner.
This is not to say you can’t have different partners; that's up to you, and is determined by your stage of life, your commitment to others, and by your own particular understanding of love at this time.
However, in order to expand yourself sexual self, all you need to do is to become fully present with one person.
The thing is; it’s very difficult to become fully present with another person.
It’s about real, raw intimacy: where you show up without your mask, without your cool, without your reputation as player or lover or whatever it is.
You show up, and you don’t just take off your clothes. You take off your skin.
In this way, true sexual intimacy is a profound spiritual experience: you will find that time exists differently, energy shifts in a new way, when you open yourself to another and the other opens to you in this profound, deep, real way.
If you seek transcendence in sex, try showing up fully as yourself, no barriers, no walls, no resistance, just you.
There’s a lot of talk about going the distance: setting your own personal records, being your best self, making the grade, and so forth.
I think this is all very important, with one distinction: you want to make sure you’re pushing your own edge, not an edge that somebody else chose for you.
Someone else’s edge might be starting a company, or writing a book, or running a marathon, or traveling the world. Your edge might be any of those, but it also might be entirely, completely different.
Maybe for you, these aren’t edges. Maybe your edge is needing to learn a language fluently, or do a photography project, or volunteer at a charity.
It’s not important that you do what every one else is doing. What’s important, is seeing what fascinates you in this world: the strange, the unusual, the geeky, the unpopular, the odd, the fascinating.
If there’s something that you find so fascinating and interesting that you can’t imagine not doing it, or you can’t imagine being bored with it, that’s your edge. Push that.
You are incredibly beautiful, even if you think you’re not.
Even if you think your nose is too long or too short, your hair too curly or too straight, your body the wrong shape or size, your skin not dark or light enough, whatever it is.
Just as you are able to look at all kinds of people and see their beauty—not the beauty of their makeup or fashion or vibe, but their real, raw, interesting, unique, diverse human beauty—you can see this.
It’s astounding, how gorgeous and different and wonderful we all are!
If you don't have this ability already, you can learn to see the magical diversity of all of us, the way we are shaped, the weight we carry, the way we walk and move, the way our bodies protect and contain us. You can see this beauty in others, whenever you look with love.
Ahhh... and when you look with love, it feels like you’re looking at angels all day long; these beautiful beings that are other people, that are the human race.
And here's another wonderful thing: you can look at yourself with this same love. Just look at someone else with love, then expand your heart, and fold yourself in, in full acceptance of who you are and how you look, right now.
There is a beautiful intimacy that comes from doing everyday tasks, such as folding laundry for yourself, or for your family members.
When done with intention, it becomes sheer delight to pull each item of clothing, freshly washed and dried, and sort and smooth and fold this item.
If you are folding clothing for yourself, you are infusing love into the clothing you will wear later. If you are folding clothing for family members, you have a chance to connect in with each family member as you fold their shirts, pants, underwear, socks.
Instead of doing it hurriedly, as a bothersome chore, use this time to infuse love into the clothes. In the same way that your ancestors once sewed a little talisman into a pocket, to keep the wearer safe and well, you can infuse your protection, your care, your support into each item of clothing that you fold.
We are able to feel each other’s feelings, even from far away. We are able to feel the blessing of the clothing we wear, when it has been folded with love by another.
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Sara blogs on spirituality and intuition twice weekly. Get Daily Divine direct to your inbox, plus instantly download the FREE ebook, "What are Your Unique Psychic Gifts?"