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In western society, it’s common to turn away from our parents in our teens, and to move away permanently from our parents in our 20s and 30s. Not everyone does this, but it’s a common path, a kind of rite of passage.
We seek to find ourselves, outside of our ancestry and our lineage, and of course this is very useful.
However, when we continue to distance ourselves from our parents past a certain age, without doing the work of healing what needs to be healed between us, this can stunt our growth.
At some point in our lives, we need to come to peace with our feelings about our family of origin. We can decide to heal from past angers and hurts; or we can decide to separate fully if there was abuse; or we can take steps to come closer together.
Doing this work is a part of our passage into true adulthood.
When we understand that our family members are souls, just like we are, we can see that these souls also have struggles and deep needs, met or unmet, just like we do.
It’s tempting to play the victim or the rebel or run away from our childhoods. But that doesn’t bring us to great understanding. It’s when we finally work through our family issues, that we become whole.
We seek to find ourselves, outside of our ancestry and our lineage, and of course this is very useful.
However, when we continue to distance ourselves from our parents past a certain age, without doing the work of healing what needs to be healed between us, this can stunt our growth.
At some point in our lives, we need to come to peace with our feelings about our family of origin. We can decide to heal from past angers and hurts; or we can decide to separate fully if there was abuse; or we can take steps to come closer together.
Doing this work is a part of our passage into true adulthood.
When we understand that our family members are souls, just like we are, we can see that these souls also have struggles and deep needs, met or unmet, just like we do.
It’s tempting to play the victim or the rebel or run away from our childhoods. But that doesn’t bring us to great understanding. It’s when we finally work through our family issues, that we become whole.
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