If you have children, enjoy them. If you don’t have children, enjoy this too. If you’re letting go of children as they leave the nest, enjoy this also.
We are here to live in many ways, and to experience many identities.
You might be daughter, lover, mother, grandmother. Yet each of these stages isn’t meant to last forever; there’s a time to be in each stage. And even when you are deep within each identity, you must remember that all identities are simply illusion, projection, mask: they’re not your true self.
Don’t mourn the passing of an identity: if you’ve been a mother and now your children are leaving home, don’t hold yourself or them back with tears and guilt. If you’ve been a lover or spouse and now a relationship is over, don’t hold yourself or the other back with fear and shame.
Everything comes to its natural conclusion. Some identities hold for a lifetime. But most do not. Most identities are stages and passages that we move through. It’s natural to have change, letting go of what’s done, and transitioning into what’s next.
When you reach the end of your life, whenever that is, you’ll look back and not be concerned with all those identities you grasped so fully. You’ll remember the small thing, the small experience: holding hands with someone you love. The beauty of flowers. The way the air felt on your skin.
That’s the real stuff: your experience of Nowness, no identity needed.
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