The people we love are with us forever.
We arrive as souls, and we are destined to meet those same souls we've worked with many times before. Our family, friends, lovers.
When the karma is sticky—when there is conflict in our relationships—this is a sign that we have more work to do together.
When the relationship is easy, delightful and joyous—this is a sign that we are working through advanced level soul lessons, that we have been together many times before, and that our connection will continue, lifetime after lifetime.
When you are able to communicate with your Departed loved ones, the most immediate understanding does not always come in words or messages. What is key is the emotion that is transferred—a palpable energy of love, comfort and the absolute recognition of this person as soul.
It is beautiful, and it is forever.
Around this time of the year we start to think of spirits as spooky or even scary. But what is truly real is the love we have for others. This is infinite.
P.S. Learn how to connect with your Departed loved ones in my NEW DailyOM class, How to Contact Family & Friends Who Have Crossed Over, just $10.
P.P.S. Registration is OPEN for Winter small group training. Learn more!
Some of you have been able to see spirit folk since you were children. By spirit folk, I mean Guides, Angels—and also the Departed.
Others of you might havethis gift opening for you now. And perhaps you'd like to know how to do it safely.
There is a lot of confusion about what it means to connect with the Departed, and this stems from past mediumship systems, such as seances, where people would call up "random" Departed—people who have crossed over who we don't know.
Working this way can be a tricky, and can invite all kinds of sticky or even unpleasant energy into your life. It's not a system I recommend.
However, there are also ways of doing mediumship that are safe. Where, with the assistance of our Guides, we can create an energetic boundary so that only our loved ones come in.
It can be so very lovely to connect with grandparents, parents, children, relatives and dear friends from beyond the veil.
In these connections, the heart leads—we can palpably feel the love between us, everytime we connect in this way.
When you remember that the we come around together again and again, you can trust that we are never parted. This connection is not only safe, but beautiful.
P.S. My NEW course How to Contact Your Family & Friends Who Have Crossed Over is just $10.
P.P.S Signups are OPEN for WINTER 2019 group training. Learn more!
Long before you were born, your soul had decided who your mother would be.
Some of us chose lovely mothers.
Others, not so much.
However, each of us chose the exact mother we required to bring us to this point today, on Mother's Day 2018, to be having the feelings, realizations, understandings, longings, sorrows, joys and releasings that we are having today.
In other words, we chose the mother who would provide us with the soul lessons we agreed to.
In my own experience as a mother of three children and a step-son, now all adults, my belief is that mothers are here to protect and mentor their children. Their job is to make sure they get to independence as wholly and authentically as they can.
However, that's just my belief.
Your belief of what it means to be a mother, whether you are a mother or step mother or not—may be different than mine.
Your mother's belief of what it means to be a mother or step mother—may all be very different than mine or yours.
This is because all souls are working on different lessons at different times, and thus we don't have to all agree that Mother's Day is a Hallmark card, or a brunch, or breakfast-in-bed.
We can be thankful—or not.
We can be grateful—or not.
We can be angry—or not.
We can miss them when then transition—or not.
Whatever you are feeling today, on this day that is absolutely LOADED with mainstream sentiment, is okay.
Just be with it, feel it, and if it feels like too much, you have the option to opt out and do something else.
We are all learning exactly the soul lessons we're here to learn. You don't have to worry that you're doing it wrong, or you're not getting what you need, or that your experience is different than others.
Your soul knows the way. Feel what you feel, and keep going.
P.S. I will be in SEATTLE May 18 and 19 at East West Books, in PORTLAND May 26, in CORVALLIS May 30 and in SALEM June 1. Click here to reserve your spot.
P.S.S. We begin our FREE Seeker's Guide 11-week course NEXT WEEK! Over 1400 people are already signed up! Sign up here to be a part of this amazing FREE study group.
Most of us our Householders: people walking the spiritual path while deeply immersed in work and family.
We work jobs of all kinds.
We take care of children, partners, parents.
We take care of extended family.
We take care of others in the community around us.
Some of us are healer and teachers, helping in one way.
Others are practical helpers, helping in other ways.
It’s all valid, and all valued.
And even though we have our hands full with this entire helping and supporting and lifting up of those we love, we want to do more.
We want to help the world, but we don’t know how.
Here is one suggestion from The 33 Lessons in my book Writing the Divine:
“The true hero quests within.There is no dragon to slay. There is no war to win. There is not mountain to climb. There is only the landscape of what is within, which is you in the Universe. Which is you as one of the now of the Now. Which is also you, as an earth being, with an earth heart, Surrounding and infinitely connecting to all living beings. Thus, the hero’s quest is for no chalice, no sword, no banner. The hero’s quest in this time is for connection; it is for compassion, it is for love. This is the task of this world you are in now.“—The 33 Lessons
P.S. Don't miss your chance! Register now for Intuition University Fall 2017!
The Universe continues to ask us to let go of what we are not, so that we may move forward into who we are becoming.
This often means relationships.
This might be family and relationship—for many of you, this is where the hammer is going to hit the nail, soundly on the head. Take a look at your family, your relationships, and ask yourself: "Is this serving me?". Not serving the small me, of ego/personality/fear. But the big me, which is your soul essences.
Is this serving me? If you are in a relationship filled with toxicity, blame, fear—and certainly, if you are in a relationship that is abusive in any way—it's time to Let Go, and Say No.
If your current challenge aren't in family relationships, but are around other relationships, such as business, career, groups, associations, friendships and other relationships such as these, the question is the same: "Is this serving me?"
Not the ego you. Not the you that has goals and ambitions and so forth. You as soul.
When we ask this question, "is this serving me?" the key is to be very clear on your answer.
For many of you right now, as you've been trying to stick with relationships that just don't work, I'd guess the answer is going to be.... NO.
No, this relationship is not serving me.
No, this association is not serving me.
No, this friendship is not serving me.
No, this workplace is not serving me.
And when you know this clearly... and you will know it resoundingly, in your heart and soul and gut, the idea is to Let Go and Say No...
And to do this WITHOUT FAULT OR BLAME.
To let go of relationships that are not serving you, and to do so without creating anger, a need to find fault, a need to pin blame.
To just understand that CHANGE is the WAY of the Universe... and that sometimes, we grow out of things when we least expect it...or others grow out of us... or we grow out of each other.
No anger. No fault. No blame. Simply holding boundary, and releasing in compassion.
Take a look today, at what is bothering you,. what is stressing you, what is in conflict. And then, meditate on whether the above applies...
P.S. Our July Course of the Month is: How to Hear What the Universe is Saying. Pay what you want, sliding scale!
So many of you tell me you were raised Catholic—from the most casual mass-at-Christmas-and-Easter, to the most devout parochial-school-with-nuns-or-priests.
Nowadays, many of you are still Catholic, or not Catholic at all—or maybe you're not really sure where the formal religion of your childhood intersects with your new spiritual beliefs.
I have my own Catholic experience.
I was raised by non-religious parents who sent me to the local convent—which mean nuns wearing dimples, mass daily, fonts of holy water in the hallway, and statues of St. Frances Assisi everywhere.
Lots of folks didn't have great experiences at Catholic schools, but I did. I converted to Catholicism as an adult, and practiced for many years until my near-death-experience—when everything changed.
In any case, I am familiar with the Easter energy that many of us are feeling now.
Easter Week is hugely emotional: Maundy Thursday is somber and incredibly sad. Good Friday brings hope. Easter Vigil, which begins Saturday night and at the parish I use to attend, included a blazing bonfire, a swinging vessel of incense... and many, many (did I say many?) hours later, the baptism of all new members of the church in water and chrism. Easter begins during the wee hours of the vigil, and continues on till morning.
If you have these Easter memories hardwired into your system, you're going to be feeling stuff this week, whether you want to or not.
Religion has been wonderful for many people.
Religion has wounded many others.
We each have our own experience.
But it all comes back, every spring.
For me, what's best it to acknowledge that the energy swirling around us this week is there, and it affects us.
So just feel it... feel it all... and let your feelings be released.
Then take a look around you.
Today, the daffodils are out, and very soon the tulips will be here.
And be in awe.
P.S. Registration is open for Intuition University small group training SUMMER 2017.
P.S.S. Please note the friendly little fellow at the bottom left corner of the image. Such is the mystery and the miracle of this life.
The big questions of life are sometimes posed by the innocence of youth.
At a coffee shop lately, we sat next to a girl of about ten, plus her mom, her teenage sister and her sister's friend.
The young girl kept reading loudly from her cell phone, from an app that I am guessing is called "Would You Rather?"
With that persistent, adorable, unstoppable, lovely force of a preteen, she read questions to her mom.
“Mom! Would you rather love someone but they DON'T love you? Or have someone love you but YOU DON'T llove them? "
“Mom? Mom! What’s your answer?”
"Umm… that's a hard one."
“Mom! Now listen to this one.”
"Would you rather NEVER eat chocolate, or ONLY eat chocolate?"
"That one's easy… eat chocolate."
And eavesdropping with broad smiles at the table one foot away, she read aloud our very favorite...
"Mom! Mom! Mom!”
Sigh. “Yes, dear.”
“Mom, this is IMPORTANT. Would you rather wear underwear ALWAYS. Or never wear underwear EVER?"
Their table, our table, and even few tables nearby, convulsed into laughter. The mentioning of unmentionables had us all laughing.
Life is funny. People are funny. It is so enjoyable to be in life, surrounded by others enjoying an everyday afternoon, drinking coffee and laughing at silly jokes.
Yep. There we were. Laughing at a joke about underwear... in the midst of a cafe filled with parents, kids, seniors, singles... a diverse community of folks.
Nobody focused on being “spiritual” as something outside of ourselves.
Nobody trying to be “spiritual” in some formal way.
Just hanging out being human.
Laughing and connecting.
Wearing underwear or not.
P.S. Listen to the latest podcasts of Ask Sara Radio FREE.
As some of you know, I'm pretty much a minimalist. I like to keep things spare and simple; a little stuff goes a long way.
And yet in helping my mother downsize from one home to another, I’ve found myself deluged with stuff.
Every item must be sorted, handled, considered.
Moreover, each item is a memory trigger: the cake plate that was my Grandmother's. The butter mold from Norway. The antique box that we’ve somehow always had.
Of course, every object doesn't just hold memories; it is a container of Universal energy.
Thus if you add an object to your own possessions, you also take on the energy of that object. You take on the memories, the soul experience, the karma of the previous owner. Your parents, your grandparents, your ancestors, a stranger... whoever owned it before.
Their stuff contains their energy.
This isn't necessarily a bad thing. And in truth, we can never be separate from each other.
But the way I see it, the more we are bound by stuff, the more distracted we can get from our true dharma, our true calling.
If you are dealing with helping a parent sort through possessions, as many of us baby boomers are, take time to consider what you really need.
You may deeply desire having the karma of your ancestors around you via their objects. Or you may prefer to let it all go.
When you understand that every object, whether inherited from an ancestor or assembled from Ikea, contains the energy of where it came from, how it was made, who made it, who owned it—then you can decide what is right for you.
P.S. This month's course is Learn the Practice of Channeled Writing.
How do you know if the people in your life are the people you're supposed to be with?
Mostly, you can tell by the particular energy of your karmic crossing.
There are three ways we experience karma (which I define as soul lessons learned over time) with others. These are:
• Karmic crossings that are neutral or over quickly
• Karmic crossings that are complex and resolvable in this lifetime
• Karmic crossings that are deep and cooperative and meant to last
Neutral karmic crossings don't have much energy: we experience this all the time with people we are in contact with in our daily lives: the person we sit by on the bus by don't talk to; the person we date for a short while, but never see again. These people are of course also souls on the path, but they aren't part of our immediate soul circle: we don't have a big soul lesson to learn with these folks in this lifetime. They're brief, don't have much energy, and are over quickly.
Complex karmic crossings represent big karma, big soul lessons. These lessons are so big, so sticky, so dramatic, they usually can't be completed in this lifetime. Do your best... and if this relationship is tricky, ugly or unhealthy, let it go. This kind of karma shows up in abuse, anger, betrayal, anger and so on—if you come across a person where this shows up all the time, you're probably working through big lessons together. Again, this kind of karmic crossing usually needs more than one lifetime to complete.It is okay to let go, and end unhealthy relationships.
Cooperative karmic crossings are relationships that have worked out most of the negative or lower soul lessons, and are now moving on to beautiful aspects such as support, kindness, patience and unconditional love. These are the karmic crossings to seek out and hold on to, for a lifetime.
If you'd like to learn more about the karma of relationships, I'd suggest:
Release Yourself from Family Karma
Heal Your Love & Relationships Karma
P.S. Registration is almost closed for Spiritual Psychic Level One this January. Sign up now!
Long ago, it was common for kids to start school early and get skipped up grades.
Nowadays, it’s considered better for kids to start school later, so they have more time to mature.
But back then, kids were on the fast track to grow up.
Which is why I found myself at age four staring at the doors marked Boys or Girls, trying to figure out what the beads meant.
It was kindergarten, it wasn’t brain surgery: you put the beads around you neck, you go into the bathroom that corresponded to your gender (in those days, there was no question), you do your business and come out.
The doors didn’t lock, because we were in kindergarten. The beads were the sign: occupied or vacant.
It all sounds kind of funny and antiquated.
But for me, the worry of not being able to remember how the beads worked, or what if I flushed them down the toilet, or what if someone forgot about the beads and walked in on me… well, it was too much for my four-year-old self to handle.
So all that year I didn’t go to the bathroom at school.
Instead, I walked home at lunchtime and went there.
Did I? Did I really do that?
Yes, and if you were raised in that era, you did too. You walked home by yourself, and you rode on bikes with no helmets and in station wagons with no seat belts and you played outside with no supervision from morning till dinner.
That’s what we all did.
We grew up fast, because that’s how things were then.
But nowadays… it can be good to take your time. Waiting in patience and compassion for yourself, until you’re really to do something, can be a very kind way to live.
If there is something you’re facing and you’re not quite ready, you don’t have to grit your teeth and force yourself. You can wait, if you want.
Sometimes this is a great choice.
P.S. We'll be closing registration soon for small group training Winter 2017!
Sometimes I’ll get an email from someone I’ve met somewhere out in the world: in a workshop, at a lecture, at an event.
And they’ll write “do you remember me?” and give some details about who they are and where we met.
I’m the person who knits hats.
I work with bees.
I live in Rome.
I helped you turn your microphone on.
I met you on the train to Portland.
And so forth.
The thing is… most often, I do remember that person, absolutely and completely.
I may not be able to pull a name out of a hat, I may not recall every detail of what we talked about that day …. but the person his or herself? The Soul self of that particular person?
This is easy to remember.
You probably find this is your experience too: there are certain people, who when you meet them, just stand out for you.
There’s a kind of recognition, a resonance, a magnetic attraction, a familiarity, a knowing.
When you meet these people, who might be all kinds of people of all ages, races, cultures, nationalities, genders, backgrounds… all the ways we tend to separate ourselves from ourselves…. You just know them.
This is because of three things.
First, we’re all One. Of course we know everyone, we are everyone!
Second, many of us are in soul collectives or soul circles that operate in the same vibrational field… healers, empaths, intuitives, artists and so forth are one example of a soul collective of sensitives, for example.
Third, many of us have had multiple past lives together, over and over doing the same puzzle of How Am I to Live in This Life, and over and over giving each other the exact puzzle piece they need at this moment.
When you meet someone you recognize, rejoice! It is beautiful to go through life meeting old friends.
When you meet someone you don’t know, be open. Everyone we meet is set on our path by a loving Universe
And when you meet someone that stands out for you, be grateful. You have found yet another kindred soul, yet another person who holds out a piece of the puzzle for you, and you for them.
P.S. Save $10 now when you sign up for Entering Stillness: A Winter's Retreat.
This summer, my youngest daughter is working as camp counselor
She’s gone ten weeks, living in the Oregon woods June through August.
That means that for the first time in decades, I’ll be without kids.
When I was young, I was in a very great hurry to get going in my life and experience all things adult and independent!
So I took on kid raising pretty early on.
My path was that of the Householder: I didn’t have the years of travel or world exploration that many did. Instead, I spent my early adulthood raising one, two, three, four kids, with all the learning and growing that being a mother provides.
Now… that long, full, rich passage is over.
My older kids have headed out into the world, my youngest will go soon, and I’m already in transition.
Many of you have made or are making this transition, and you know the story:
After years of driving a car full of other people, suddenly it’s just you. After years of having a schedule dictated by early school mornings and late afternoon activities, by lunch packing and dinner making and grocery shopping and laundry doing, suddenly your schedule is opens up.
The house, once so noisy, chaotic and full, now seems quiet as a church.
It’s a funny thing… when we’re in the midst of our own childhood, we think it’s going to last forever… we might even daydream about when we can leave and get started with our lives.
When we’re in the midst of the Householder path, raising kids from birth to adult, , we know it won’t last forever. Yet when we’re in the eye of the storm, it sure feels like it.
It can take us by surprise, to realize that both of these passages: being a child, and raising children, will end.
Suddenly, we are no longer taken care of by others.
Suddenly, we are no longer taking care of others.
Not everyone has children, or has this particular passage of empty nest.
But everyone experiences transitions, the times when one thing changes to another, and you see it coming, and then it does come, and suddenly everything is different and never, ever to be the same.
Breathe. Trust. Breathe some more.
P.S. August Course of the Month: Be a Divine Conduit for Your Guides & Angels
If you’re over forty, you probably have some baggage with your parents.
For whatever reason, younger generations seem to have less angst about their folks; they have less trouble separating from mother and father.
However, for most of age 40 or over, there is deep learning curve surrounding the parental units.
And yet no matter what your childhood experience, even if it was difficult or even horrible, you begin to grow into a new understanding.
As you do your inner work, you move from this place of absolute pain and anger and fear and rebellion against your parents, to a place of separate and independence, to a place of compassion.
In some cases, your parents are declining, and, you have become the adult as your parent is moving toward the stages of toddler and babyhood.
Even for parents who are nowhere near that: who’s minds are still sharp as a tack, who are making decisions and living their lives… we discover that we feel differently about them than we once did.
It’s not about us becoming the adult, and they the child
It’s not about them becoming helpless, and we need to take care of them.
It’s about us doing our inner work, and slowly but surely coming to a place of compassion for this person who has held space as our parent.
We see them our parents as individuals, the same way we see our partner, our child, our friend, our colleague.
All the old strum und drang goes away.
We see them in full compassion for all the experiences they’ve had, good and bad, all of the pain they’ve had, all the pain they’ve caused, what they’ve worked through, what they haven’t worked through.
And instead of putting them on this Parent Pedestal, we bring them into our hearts, simply as another soul on the path.
You might not have turned the corner yet to compassion for your parent. It might take a lifetime to get there. But when you do, you know that you have cracked open into a new place.
Much love, SARA
P.S. Check out my Moving from Stuck to Flow course on DailyOM!
We are being asked once again, right now, to take a look at things that we had set up earlier in our lives, that are still ongoing, that do not serve us.
This might be family and relationship—for many of you, this is where the hammer is going to hit the nail, soundly on the head. Take a look at your family, your relationships, and ask yourself: “Is this serving me?” Not serving the small me, of ego/personality/fear. But the big me, which is your soul essence.
Is this serving me? If you are in a relationship filled with toxicity, blame, fear—and certainly, if you are in a relationship that is abusive in any way—it’s time to Let Go, and Say No.
If your current challenges aren’t in family relationships, but are around other relationships, such as business, career, groups, associations, friendships, and other relationships such as these, the question is the same: “Is this serving me?”
Not the ego you. Not the you that has goals and ambitions and so forth.
You as Soul.
Now,... when we ask this question, “is this serving me,” the key is to be very clear about your answer. For about 80% of you right now, with the energy as it is, I’d guess the answer is going to be.... NO.
No, this relationship is not serving me.
No, this association is not serving me.
No, this friendship is not serving me.
And when you know this clearly... and you will know it resoundingly, in your heart and soul and gut, the idea is to Let Go and Say No... and... wait for it...:) To do this without fault or blame.
To let go of relationships that are not serving you, and to do so without creating anger, a need to find fault, a need to pin blame.
To just understand that change is the way of the Universe... and that sometimes, we grow out of things when we least expect it...or others grow out of us... or whatever it is. No anger. No fault. No blame. Simply holding boundary, and releasing in compassion.
Take a look today, at what is bothering you, what is stressing you, what is in conflict. And then, meditate on whether the above applies...
P.S. Get FREE podcasts from Ask Sara here.
I came across Downton Abbey some time ago, and for a while, I watched it with great interest. But at one point in the show, when they were well into one of the Wars, and men were getting wounded and the entire Abbey had been turned into a convalescent center, my husband commented “it’s like a cult.”
And that vague discomfort that I’d had the whole time I’ve been watching it, became very clear to me.
Downton Abbey is a snapshot of how things were at the turn of the 20th century, when Europe and America, were caught in a horrible cycle of fear and duty.
Everyone’s in lock step with group thought: they keep stiff upper lips, and do their duties and follow the rules… and this is exactly the same as a cult. It’s group thought, created by the group and enforced by the group, so that if you’re not in the group, you’re ostracized.
I’ve stopped watching Downton Abbey. I don’t need to spend another hour watching people live in fear and doing their duty and never looking up to see that they are souls, they are human beings with souls, and they can choose another path.
A lot of our ancestors, a lot of our family karma, at least if you’re of European or American descent, comes from the belief systems and the ways of living that are depicted in this show. For that, I think it’s valuable: we can see the wounds that we carry in our karmic DNA.
And yet, even though it’s an interesting time capsule, I don’t want to spend my evenings immersed in the past. I’d rather look to where we’re going, or trying to go now.
P.S. Join us for our Soul Immersion Summer 2016 small group!
It’s normal and natural for things to come to an end.
Usually when we are at the end phase of something, we know it: we may have felt it coming for a long time, or we have the sense that things aren’t working and we need a change.
Or, maybe it’s as simple as we’ve mastered something: a tool, a path, an understanding, even a relationship, and we’re ready to try something new.
We’re not meant to be bored in this life.
And yet, even when we know things are changing, we often resist pretty hard: we kick and scream and cling to the little lifeboat of “the way things were” in order to do anything but step into the unknown.
This gap, this space, this unknown always shows up when we are changing. It is the moment between what we were, and what we are going to be. It can be scary, this gap, if you don’t know that a gap is natural, normal, and how it always happens.
Think back to the last time you experienced a really big change, and recall the gap or space between how it was, and how it became.
If you’re sensing endings now, and are already in the gap, just look at the gap as a friend. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to not have a plan.
The biggest thing is to understand when something is coming to an end, is that this is normal, right, as things always are. Just accepting this, allows you to move forward to what is next.
P.S. Have you read my book Opening to Love? Learn more here.
Every relationship you’re in is a direct reflection of your spiritual understanding. Depending on where you are, this can be an okay truth to look at. It can also be one of the most terrifying statements you’ve heard.
Like it or not, we attract those we have karma with.
We attract those we have lessons with.
Everyone we meet is our teacher, and we are theirs.
When you look at the people you are most struggling with, look immediately to your own self as a mirror of them.
If you are having trouble with someone who is negative, look to your own negativity.
If you are having conflict with someone who won’t keep their word, look to your own ability to show up.
If you are having issues with someone who keeps thinking small, look at your own relationship to thinking small.
We meet our match, over and over and over again.
Until we learn our lesson, and move on.
This is how karma—soul lessons learned over time—works. We meet our teachers, over and over again, until we master the lesson.
It might take an hour.
It might take this lifetime.
It might take many lifetimes.
And when we have completed that particular lesson? There’s always more soul growth, in this graduate practicum called life.
P.S. Have you heard the healing music of Martyrs of Sound?
Sometimes I hear from incredibly sensitive, aware and well-meaning moms who’ve read my book Your Psychic Child, and are starting to work with their child in psychic training.
The only problem is, often the child is only two or three years old.
That’s just too young to start.
At this age, before language has formed fully for a child, it’s very hard to determine spiritual or psychic gifts, let alone work with them. It’s very hard to not helicopter; we want our children to be amazing and gifted and special, and we think if we just feed them all these ideas and experiences, then certain gifts will open for them.
But it doesn’t work that way.
A psychic child is like a cup; if you pour water in, you can fill it. But if you fill it too full, the water just flows over the brim. It doesn’t stay in.
The best things to do with all kids, psychic and otherwise (and yes, most kids these days are absolutely psychic), is just let them be kids: limited electronics, good food, lots of sleep, plenty of hugs, music and art and nature.
The rest will take care of itself.
P.S. Listen to hundreds of FREE Spiritual Psychic podcasts.
If you get to a place of abundance and peace in your life, you know two things.
One: your situation could shift at any time, and this is okay and you’re okay with it. If you get to abundance and peace, you’ve moved beyond the understanding that we can ever be truly “safe” or “secure”; life just isn’t like that, everything is always changing.
Two: you’re going to be asked for things by victims.
To be a victim is to think that the world owes you something, or that other people can have it but you can’t, or that you can’t create it on your own. It’s being a victim of your own mental state, regardless of the particular situation you’re in.
When you’re dealing with victims, there are a few things to consider. If the victim is a child, or hungry or abused or mentally ill, of course you’re going to help. This is just basic human compassion.
But if the victim is a regular person with regular opportunities, who’s decided to be a victim because it’s less scary that trying to make his/her own way, you might decide to not help.
To not support the mind loop of delusion.
To get out of the way, and give the Universe more room to help this person wake up.
P.S. Be a part of Intuition University Spring 2016. We'll be starting soon!
If you live with others, either in a family, extended family, with roommates or a partner, you know that there is a delicate dance between independence and expectations.
It’s interesting to take stock now and then, at how things are set up: what the group expects, what the group likes or doesn’t like, what individuals in the group are more similar in personality style, or more different.
Looking at everything, not just the division of chorse or expenses, but everything, right down to who’s inhabits what room and how the furniture is arranged, can be eye-opening. Sometimes there is more private space for people who need private space, just by shifting the way your space is organized. Often getting rid of things that don’t work, opens up possibilities for living in a new way.
Especially if you’ve lived in a space for a long time, it’s easy to get habitual about things; but if you start by looking at your house or apartment as a new space, a fresh slate to work with, then you begin to see new possibilities.
Take a look at your living space, and imagine how you might do it differently, if you were just moving in.
Think about how you want to live, not about how you’ve been living out of routine.
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All children have gifts; there is no child who is not uniquely blessed with some understanding, some consciousness, some deep creative self.
If you find that you have a creatively gifted child, it is important to look at your own life, as an example to this child. For example, if your child is exquisitely sensitive and having trouble at school, you will want to look at your own experience of school, and how you dealt with that.
Modern school, for the most part, isn't very good for kids: it's fear and group thought at the very worst, with no room for expression and individuality. School has been this way for many decades.
However, what creative, gifted and sensitive children really need is time and space to inhabit their rich fantasy life, to connect with nature in a personal way, and to day dream. When you provide your child only with electronica, dry academics and teaching to tests, you are starving that children from what he or she truly needs.
The gifted child must have the downtime, the free time, to wander around in the woods, spread out in the home, create art, listen to music, have fantasy, be with animals, day dream.... all of these are the markers of an enriched creative and spiritual life.
If you believe your child is gifted, give your child more space, more free time, more downtime. Provide it for yourself, as well.
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As we all know, Dorothy set off on the Yellow Brick Road wearing her ruby slippers, trying to get home.
Sometimes people focus on the idea that Dorothy needed to battle the witch, and that this tale was about good vs. evil.
But I like to think of Dorothy as a pioneer in Nowness; she had everything she needed all the time, right on her feet.
She was always home, even when she was in Oz.
You can go home any time too, just by clicking your heels, or as we might put it in meditative terms, by closing your eyes, taking the deep breath, and connecting to the infinite.
We always have this ability; in fact, it can’t ever be taken from us; this ability to take the breath, enter in to Divine space, and simply be in peace, and comfort, and home.
Dorothy didn’t learn this until the end of her journey. We can understand it Now: you can go home again, over and over and over, as many times as you like.
You may choose to battle apple-throwing trees, fields of popples and flying monkey, but you don’t have to. Home is always within you.
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If you have a lot of dysfunction in your family, but you keep going back for more, you might consider giving yourself a breather.
There are families where the dysfunction is so bad, such as with abuse or addiction, that the ties need to be broken. It’s too damaging to see those family members again.
But there are other families, where it’s just very emotional and dramatic and painful, and in these cases, it’s a matter of working through it, over time. That's where your soul growth happens.
However, working through it doesn’t mean every day, always.
If you find that you are working through your feelings about your father, your mother, your siblings, whoever it is, and you’ve reached a place where it’s just very confusing and difficult, consider taking a break from contact with them, for awhile.
Take a breather, and re-assess.
This freedom will allow you to see that you are not permanently bound to them for life; even with relatives, it is always our choice to spend our time with them, or not.
Allowing yourself a break will help you gain perspective, and this will show you if you need more boundary, or more compassion, in going forward with your healing.
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There is a beautiful intimacy that comes from doing everyday tasks, such as folding laundry for yourself, or for your family members.
When done with intention, it becomes sheer delight to pull each item of clothing, freshly washed and dried, and sort and smooth and fold this item.
If you are folding clothing for yourself, you are infusing love into the clothing you will wear later. If you are folding clothing for family members, you have a chance to connect in with each family member as you fold their shirts, pants, underwear, socks.
Instead of doing it hurriedly, as a bothersome chore, use this time to infuse love into the clothes. In the same way that your ancestors once sewed a little talisman into a pocket, to keep the wearer safe and well, you can infuse your protection, your care, your support into each item of clothing that you fold.
We are able to feel each other’s feelings, even from far away. We are able to feel the blessing of the clothing we wear, when it has been folded with love by another.
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It can be an amazing experience to finally find the group of people who feel like home to you: who feel like your tribe.
You might have searched many years to find this delicious sense of resonance with others, this deep comfort of knowing that you are not alone, that in this group or style of people you can find rest, friendship, fun and love.
Finding your tribe, being in your tribe, can be enormously fulfilling. It’s a way of practicing Oneness, to experience so much love in a group of people.
However, it's important to understand that you don’t actually need a particular tribe to experience this. The tribe is merely a practice ground, for opening into group energy, and allowing yourself to feel Oneness.
In truth, the heart can be filled anywhere on earth.
As we grow, we learn how to feel Oneness, all the time, with everyone. If you’re in a tribe now, recognize it as a wonderful resting stop on your path, but not the end of your journey.
Your identity with tribe is just one identity; chances are good, that you or the tribe will change, and over time, you will wander again into the wilderness, in search of new experience, new understanding and perhaps new tribe.
Begin the task of feeling Oneness, with or without tribe. See how your understanding that the entire planet is tribe, opens you to more.
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