We often talk about flow in a casual way, as something that means moving forward in an effortless way.
We might say we are "going with the flow" or in a state of "creative flow" or "in the flow" or "flowing with it" about a project or activity.
Yet in spiritual terms, Flow has a very specific meaning. . In a nutshell, the definition is:
"Flow is a spiritual state in which we are aligned with the Universe."
So often in our lives, we try to push our path forward from ego/mind/personality. We might be really smart, or have great ideas, or a great ability to work really hard, or we have cracked the code of how to manifest, and we've gotten very good at creating what we think we want.
Yet none of those states of forced forward momentum are what Flow is about.
Flow is even not about when things are easy and effortless, although those are characteristics of Flow. That's because Flow is not about being led by ego/mind/personality. Instead, it's about letting the Universe lead.
Flow is all about allowing ourselves to:
• Follow signs and synchronicities in complete trust
• Follow signs and synchronicites as our way of being
• Get out of our own way and let the Universe inform us
• Continually heed the still, small voice that is the Universe guiding us
• Fight back ego and drop into a state of humility
• Let go of the misbeliefs and illusions of society
• Move forward in a state of wonder and awe
To live in Flow is what happens when we surrender to Divine guidance, and begin to live from this understanding.
P.S. If you woul like to learn more about Flow state, how to get unstuck form mind/ego/personality, and how to let the Universe lead, try my DailyOM course, Moving from Stuck to Flow.
A peak experience is a moment in when you become exquisitely attuned to the miracle of Now.
It's common to have a sudden experience of Nowness when you are in new surroundings or doing new and unfamiliar things: the newness creates a heightened perception of your reality.
However, having a peak experience does not require newness, adventure or even adrenaline.
Rather, peak experiences are often simple and serendipitous, happening when you least expect them. They are experiences of pure presence, and they may be short, such as a few seconds, or long such as many hours or even days.
In peak experiences you enter a portal that takes you to the bliss state—one of the most expanded vibrational states. And you experience this state fully in your environment: fully grounded in the real world, yet at the same time embodied, eyes wide open, all senses operating.
Some of the names: kundalini opening, bliss, nirvana, and so forth imply that there is something you must do to create this state.
But most peak experience happen on their own, without you even trying.
It is a matter of moving aside your distractions, letting go of your identity, and simply being in what is.
Thus, there is no place you need to travel to, no drug you need to take, no adventure you need to sign up for, no practice you need to be doing to have a peak experience.
You simply need to show up to your real life, right as it is this moment, and be in it fully, with all your perception.
To drink a cup of coffee can be a peak experience.
To walk without knowing where you’re going can be a peak experience.
To get up early with the sun can be a peak experience.
o take a shower can be a peak experience.
In this way, you see that peak experiences are ordinary moments, perceived at in an extraordinary way.
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Most of us our Householders: people walking the spiritual path while deeply immersed in work and family.
We work jobs of all kinds.
We take care of children, partners, parents.
We take care of extended family.
We take care of others in the community around us.
Some of us are healer and teachers, helping in one way.
Others are practical helpers, helping in other ways.
It’s all valid, and all valued.
And even though we have our hands full with this entire helping and supporting and lifting up of those we love, we want to do more.
We want to help the world, but we don’t know how.
Here is one suggestion from The 33 Lessons in my book Writing the Divine:
“The true hero quests within.There is no dragon to slay. There is no war to win. There is not mountain to climb. There is only the landscape of what is within, which is you in the Universe. Which is you as one of the now of the Now. Which is also you, as an earth being, with an earth heart, Surrounding and infinitely connecting to all living beings. Thus, the hero’s quest is for no chalice, no sword, no banner. The hero’s quest in this time is for connection; it is for compassion, it is for love. This is the task of this world you are in now.“—The 33 Lessons
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When I channeled The 33 Lessons in my first book Writing the Divine, there were some things that didn’t make sense to me back then.
But over time, I’ve come to understand the Lessons in the light of what we are facing now as global community, and what we are emerging into as collective soul.
For example, one of the Lessons states:
“Jesus said turn the other cheek, and by this he meant not to receive more pain, but instead to turn away fully, to refrain from participating, to allow no more of this dark force. By this he meant to shun the experience.
Other great beings have brought this message. These great messengers and teachers all chose the path of nonviolence, the path of love, the path of turning the other cheek—not to receive more, but to show that they do not participate in these acts of violence, anger, the hot steaming energy that prevails so much in your world.” —The 33 Lessons
This is the great question we face today as souls, and that we have faced many times, in many lifetimes.
If you are hooking in to darkness—if you are playing attention to drama and crazy and rage, you are invited to instead to turn the other cheek.
Recall: what we give attention expands.
Thus, what if we were to not clamor against darkness in our own rage and fear? But instead, to shun darkness? To not feed it? To turn the other cheek—away from darkness, and toward Light?
P.S. Registration is open for Intuition University Fall 2017!
Back when I was a kid watching Star Trek every afternoon with my best friend Judy, there was an episode in which Spock goes amok: Amok Time.
In it, Spock does things like gets in fights, tries to steer the Enterprise to Vulcan instead of stay on course, and creates general chaos. He gets violent and weird and acts in definitely non-Vulcan ways.
Spock has gone amok.
And the reason he’s amok? As all you hard-core Trekkies already know, Spock was suffering from his need to fulfill pon farr (which basically meant he must mate or die.)
Spoke went amok, because his needs were not met.
It seems to me, no longer watching afternoon TV in my parents’ basement, but now instead observing an endless stream of Twitter and Fox and Morning Joe and Huffiest, that we’ve all gone amok.
For the same reason: our needs have not been met.
It’s easy to point fingers and place blame and get depressed and be in rage about how things are moving backwards, not forwards; about how the most basic things we need: human rights, a healthy planet, healthcare, peace…. are being reduced to rubble every day.
And here we are, looking at all of this gunk—this non-conscious way of living—and we are realizing just how much work we still have to do. How amok we have become.
Almost everyone is feeling this amok time.
Empaths feel it especially.
And if this is so for you, here is a suggestion:
Don’t be a part of the crazy, the hate, the rage.
Stop going amok, take a deep breath and remember:
You're an infinite soul.
Hold your Light high.
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Many people are going through a spiritual awakening right now.
It’s like consciousness, going viral.
Yet while awakening sounds so exciting, when you’re suddenly in communication with guides, angels, the Departed— it’s not easy to integrate that experience into your perceived reality.
If this is happening to you, understand that the road to awakening extends perfectly, and contains all the time you need to shift, change and transform your consciousness.
In my own situation, it took a full eight years from the time of my near death experience in 2000 to my full spiritual awakening when I received and wrote The 33 Lessons.
I was reluctant, very determined to hang onto the idea that I could control things.
It took a lot of heartache until I could finally let go of those ideas. Even now, nearly 10 years later, I am still opening, deepening, growing.
It’s a life journey, this stuff.
One you’re awake, you can only go forward.
So much better to stop fighting, stop being in fear.
Just aceept you’re a soul—that this is who you are.
Take the next step on the journey.
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The Universe continues to ask us to let go of what we are not, so that we may move forward into who we are becoming.
This often means relationships.
This might be family and relationship—for many of you, this is where the hammer is going to hit the nail, soundly on the head. Take a look at your family, your relationships, and ask yourself: "Is this serving me?". Not serving the small me, of ego/personality/fear. But the big me, which is your soul essences.
Is this serving me? If you are in a relationship filled with toxicity, blame, fear—and certainly, if you are in a relationship that is abusive in any way—it's time to Let Go, and Say No.
If your current challenge aren't in family relationships, but are around other relationships, such as business, career, groups, associations, friendships and other relationships such as these, the question is the same: "Is this serving me?"
Not the ego you. Not the you that has goals and ambitions and so forth. You as soul.
When we ask this question, "is this serving me?" the key is to be very clear on your answer.
For many of you right now, as you've been trying to stick with relationships that just don't work, I'd guess the answer is going to be.... NO.
No, this relationship is not serving me.
No, this association is not serving me.
No, this friendship is not serving me.
No, this workplace is not serving me.
And when you know this clearly... and you will know it resoundingly, in your heart and soul and gut, the idea is to Let Go and Say No...
And to do this WITHOUT FAULT OR BLAME.
To let go of relationships that are not serving you, and to do so without creating anger, a need to find fault, a need to pin blame.
To just understand that CHANGE is the WAY of the Universe... and that sometimes, we grow out of things when we least expect it...or others grow out of us... or we grow out of each other.
No anger. No fault. No blame. Simply holding boundary, and releasing in compassion.
Take a look today, at what is bothering you,. what is stressing you, what is in conflict. And then, meditate on whether the above applies...
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Maybe you've just finished dinner and are getting up to wash the dishes, and an understanding will suddenly fall upon your shoulders:
Here I am. This is my life.
Or maybe you're waiting in line at the espresso stand, and it hits you:
Some day I’ll die. I'm soul in body.
Or maybe you're in a deeply passionate moment with a lover, and it arrives to you:
I'm here now. This is what I’m experiencing.
You have a moment of understanding outside of ego or identity that arrives without anticipation or expectation. You just open up into it.
And you understand yourself as soul in body, and you feel this as awe and gratitude, that this reality is yours.
These moments of consciousness happen all the time. You don't have to do anything special. Just pay attention, and notice what is.
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Session One: Learn the Secret Language of GUIDING VISIONS
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There’s a fine line between listening to Divine guidance and hiding from our destiny.
It's very easy to receive clear visions and signs about your future, your path, your calling.
And it's very easy to simply ignore those visions and signs.
The way to tell the difference, is to notice what actions you are taking.
If you have a deep longing to be an artist, for example, it is a beautiful thing to dream and imagine the art you will create.
However, the actions are what separate the artist from the non-artist: you must draw or paint or photograph or whatever is your medium, and this must be the primary activity of your life, once you have finished with your responsibilities for keeping yourself and your family sheltered and fed.
If you’re not doing art, but just thinking about art… you’re living in fantasy.
The only way you can get to your dream is through action: even if you’re not good at art yet, even if what you put on the paper does not match what is in your mind.
Over time, with daily practice, with teachers and workshops, you will get better. This might take years, but it will happen.
This is why the journey to our dreams is a journey; we do not gain the experience we need from only dreaming and imagining and fantasizing about something.
We need to take active steps, in order to get there.
P.S. Wow! I'm going to be teaching FOUR Soul Intensive workshops and offering a special Sacred Sound Healing Circle at the 2018 Beyond Words Cruise. Find out more.
This year, Summer Solstice in the northern hemisphere will take place on June 20 at 9:24 p.m., Pacific Time.
There will be people all over the world celebrating the Solstice, and by celebrating, I mean paying attention to Light.
Summer Solstice is the one of the two major turning points of the year, when we suddenly shift from days becoming longer, to nights becoming longer.
This can seem scary, but it's not. In fact, it might even seem that we've hardly even begun to bask in all this glorious Light, when the changeover begins!
And yet, so it is.
We are people living on a planet.
Earth turns, the seasons change.
Earth turns, we change.
On Summer Solstice 2017, I would invite you to do three things:
• Be outside at 9:42 pm (or whatever the time is in your time zone). Watch the sky. Be in joy.
• Take a look back at what you were doing last year, at this time. What has happened since then?
• Take a look all the way back at the 9 Year Cycle we talked about with our 2017 Forecast. What are you beginning now?
P.S. I will be presenting FOUR workshops and a special sound healing circle on the 2018 Beyond Words Cruise. Click here for Earlybird SAVINGS.
A friendly reminder from the Universe:
• We can stop hacking away at time and its impossible demands.
• We can stop fighting chaos and the drama of the world.
• We can set down our swords and let the battle rage on without us.
In June, we are granted reprieve... and if we are wise, we take ourselves to quiet green places and plunge our bare feet into cool streams, and we slow down and open up and REMEMBER why we're on this planet.
In this month of Summer Solstice, I invite you to:
• Live "en plein air" as much as you can.
• Rise early, with the birds.
• Notice the air on your skin.
• Eat plant foods with vital force.
• Forest bathe: just you and the trees.
• Begin to observe the first sunsets of summer.
• Marvel at how much Light is arriving into the world.
The world, with all its cares and worries, can wait.
In June, the Light increases and extends, so we can WAKE UP from the illusion of worldly pressures, and experience the essence of life.
P.S. I'll be teaching FOUR Soul Immersion Workshps and offer a Sacred Sound Healing Circle on the 2018 Beyond Word Cruise. Plus, Earlybird SAVINGS have been extend to June 31. Learn more!
I get to work with people from all over the world, and many of you live in places where there are lots of options for spiritual community.
Some places in the world, especially cities, are brimming with yoga classes and mediation groups and community healings and lovely workshops and so on.
If you live in this kind of place, you can wade in knee deep: you can go to ecstatic dance on Sundays, yoga on Mondays, talk circle on Tuesdays, mindfulness on Wednesdays, and so on.
And wow! You can create quite a spiritual practice, and have the joy and support and fun of spiritual community, easily available to you.
If you’re someone living in this kind of place, I do hope you are appreciating where you are!
Because more of you don’t live in these kinds of places. Lots of you live in conservative towns where it’s frowned upon if you’re not part of the dominant religious affiliation or political culture.
In these kinds of places, it can be really scary to say you might be interested in spirituality or psychic opening or past lives or meditation or anything other than what the main culture is doing.
In fact, you might be in hiding: you might feel like you have to keep your beliefs secret, or you might not want to mention your beliefs to your family, friends, neighbors.
Many of you have written to say that you can’t talk about your beliefs with your spouse, partner or friends, and most certainly not your family of origin.
Many of you have written to say there is community in your area: there is no wellness center down the street, no lovely workshop you can easily attend.
And this is not just in America, but all over the world.
Which makes me incredibly grateful to be doing this work at this time. One of the most important aspects of what I offer is my courses, books and podcasts, and the reason these are important, is because they allow you to create your own personal spiritual practice and be a part of spiritual community, no matter where you live.
You aren’t alone, even if you’re living in a place where you feel your beliefs aren’t accepted or recognized. We’re all this together, and there are many, many of us, and it’s still early days.
My work is just one tiny piece: there are so many beautiful teachers, bringing Oneness and Light to the world, and moving us to next stage in human evolution.
The darkness will eventually give way.
Until then, let’s hold Light together, and connect in all the ways we can, from wherever we are.
P.S. Our JUNE course of the month is Understand You Are Enough. Just $10!
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If you’re in a place where you can open the windows and let the breeze in, where you can wander outside frequently… do this!
Being outdoors changes us.
In summer for example, when we are up and out more: walking, biking, swimming, getting up early with the birds, staying up late and watching the sun set…. all of this expands us.
Our skin needs to breathe real air.
Our bodies need to be in light.
We need to feel the diverse and diffuse vibration that only nature can create.
With the longer days of summer, we experience pure delight, and this is because we can be outside more and more hours of the day.
We do better, as humans, when we honor our bodies, our true animal selves: when we can be in extended periods of contact with nature.
That’s because we are nature too.
We are also nature.
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Decades ago, when the building I worked in was one of the tallest and newest in Seattle, I was a file clerk for a big insurance company.
My sole duty was to push a metal cart around the office, stop at each of the endless agent desks haphazardly scattered in one enormous room, collect all the files stacked in their out box, and then go file them in the dozens of metal filing cabinets that filled the back room, in alphabetical order.
Arthur comes before Atura
McNab comes after Macnab.
Brighton comes before Broghten.
Calumus comes after Caluminus.
I became an expert alphabetizer, during the nine hours a day, five days a week I did this job.
The work days were all the same: the agents yakked on their phones, and clattered on their typewriters and pounded their staplers and smoked up a storm of cigarettes. Back then, almost everyone smoked, everywhere.
And then, after exactly three hours and forty five minutes, the round, white clock on the wall would do that little clicking sound, and everyone would stand on cue and file out for their break.
Every four hours.
We punched out with a little card.
Then everyone herded over to the break room with its metal chairs and one free phone, and proceeded to smoke as many cigarettes as they could in 15 minutes.
I lasted about two breaks in that room, yellow with smoke and depression just as acrid, and then I started sneaking away: misfit, miscreant, I hung back from the pack and rode the elevator down to the ground, where I stepped outside and turned my face up into the Seattle rain.
I didn’t last long at that job, expert alphabetizing skills notwithstanding.
I wish I could say that I quit, but I didn’t: I needed the money too much.
Besides, that’s what most jobs were like back then.
But I didn’t go back in the break room, and soon after I did get laid off. Thank you, Universe.
It was decades ago. Those were different times.
But it’s good to remember how silly we were, how stunted, how numbed, how unaware. How we’d put up with something like sitting in room smoking our entire break, our entire life away.
It’s good to look back, and see that we have made some progress.
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A while back, I was at my doctor’s for a checkup, and because I have a tendency to show for appointments early, I got to hang out in the waiting room.
Over the years, there’s been a steady upgrade to more comfortable waiting room chairs, better magazines, a complementary coffee bar along the wall.
There’s even music piped in now: it’s not quite country, not quite pop, a soft and steady stream of almost Christian-but-not-quite rock that suits the demographic of our region perfectly.
Just enough to distract you.
Just enough to uplift you.
We all know how music heals, and while this particular music was not the most healing I’ve ever heard… it was better than nothing.
I choose a chair in the corner where I could carve out a little private space, and I settled my body in a relaxed position and closed my eyes and started meditating just a little bit. Whenever I find myself in a situation that has a good chance of being chaotic, such as going to the doctor or the Department of Motor Vehicles, meditation can really help.
I simply detach from outer distractions and pull my awareness in and connect with my guides.
It is a beautiful thing to rest in their steadfast support!
It is wonderful comfort, to connect in!
For here is where we can always find Light, levity, the opposite of gravity, and when you are in a place where things are a little dingy or darker or harder, it’s a great comfort.
So, there I was, in this slightly radiant state, when a man shuffled in.
I say shuffled, because that’s the only way he could walk: his hands were shackled in front of him with handcuffs, there were chains going around his chest, chains around his legs, and he wore an orange T-shirt that read Oregon Correctional Institute and flimsy bedroom slippers: the kind of thing you couldn’t run in, if you tried to run.
On either side of him were two burly security guards, armored up with bullet-proof vests, visible guns, bully sticks and tasers.
The man sat down a few chairs away from me, a guard on either side of him, and immediately, the energy changed in the room.
A titter of shock and fear and disgust rose up from the other folks waiting in the room, and this energy gathered like a wave, building momentum as each person noticed who was now amongst us.
It built and gathered and rolled over to me, the person sitting closest to him, and I just looked at this man who was a convict, and these other two men who were guards, and I just let all that energy go.
I’m not saying I wasn’t a little bit unnerved, because I was.
I was a little bit scared.
I was a little bit worried.
I didn’t want him there.
But I rejected those feelings.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t have room for low vibration in my life.
I most certainly have not cracked this code.
But at the very least, I have been working on, and you also have been working on, this idea of rising up out of low vibration and expanding our Soul selves.
And this means that instead of contracting down into shock and fear and disgust, we expand out. Beyond fear. Into compassion.
Well, as I was thinking about all of this, the man started to bounce his foot in time to the music.
He connected to the music as a way to pass the time, and I went right back into meditation and I connected in to all the Light I could find, and asked it to come into the room.
I wasn’t trying to fix anything, or heal anything, or shift the energy in the room. I just connected into the Light, and hoped the Light would do its thing.
And what happened next was really pretty simple: the energy seemed to smooth out, and when I opened my eyes, I saw that the man now had his eyes closed, and he was in a relaxed state, and he was listening to the music streaming in to the room.
And the other people had gone back to their devices or whatever. And one of the guards picked up Outdoors magazine, and started leafing through it.
We all relaxed, when the Light came in.
We all just calmed down.
We moved out of separation, and back into Oneness.
I want to point out, I didn’t do anything special: I just called upon the Light. You can do this too: anyone can.
We all share energy.
We are all empathic to each other.
When one of us gets upset, the others feel it.
When one of us remembers we are Light, we are all lifted.
We have more control over our shared energy, than we often remember.
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People say to me “I know you’re really busy,” and I have to laugh, because I don’t feel busy.
In the last few years, I’ve committed to living a life in which I don’t feel rushed; I’ve committed to doing my work in a way that feels spacious, unhurried, calm and most of the time, enjoyable.
I have gotten to this place, by letting go of my schedule.
If you looked at my calendar, you’d find I keep my schedule much emptier than most.
There are core things that I show up to: writing and teaching and recording.
There are family things that I show up to: taking care of my kids and kin.
But the rest of it?
In the desire to live in the spacious, unhurried, unrushed way, I needed to let go of a lot of busyness and distraction.
As I stared to pare down the “shoulds” on my calendar, I found that most of the “shoulds” weren’t important.
They were someone else’s idea of how I should fill my time. They reflected what mainstream society said I should do. They stemmed from some old guilt I had about needing to be busy all the time.
I let it all go, and I haven’t missed any of it.
Instead of being distracted, rushed and exhausted by all this constant transition of one thing to the next to the next, I now have big blocks of time in my schedule in which I can have intensive periods of concentration and focus. Intensive and complete attention to what matters most, which right now is my clients and students.
I’m working incredibly hard and with incredible attention.
And at the same time, there’s…
No sense of rush or hurry.
No sense of plowing through a to-do list.
No overwhelm at trying to be in seven places at once.
No slavery to calendar or clock.
If you know what you really want to do in this life, paring down your schedule to nothing else except that, can help you begin to live that life.
If you don’t know what you really want to do in this life, paring down your schedule might help you figure it out.
P.S. Final days for Earlybird Savings for the Beyond Words cruise!
During summer, which is mild and mellow here in Oregon, I enjoy watering our garden very much.
Each plant becomes familiar to me, and I love the practice of giving them a long, thirsty drink; I love the way they go from slightly dehydrated to flush with water.
The familiarity is interesting: there’s the rose bush, there’s the zebra grasses, there’s the black bamboo, there’s the green bamboo, there’s the many sedges, there’s the hollyhocks, there’s the sunflowers.
Everything’s pretty haphazard; it’s a casual garden, and nothing is particularly fancy. But as I’ve come to know these stalwart and sturdy plants over the years, I’ve become fond of them. I’ve learned to sense their energy, and I have the sense of a great friendliness when I am out in the garden: that everyone is chiming in with friendly hellos and good vibes.
Now, I want to make clear, I do not physically hear the plants. I sense them. I feel them. And I can feel they are friendly, and I can feel the difference of one from another.
The sunflowers are different than the roses. The hollyhocks are different from the grasses. And so on.
You feel this too: you know it.
I was especially feeling the love with my little basil plant, so pretty and fragrant, doing such a great job in this mild and mellow summer; this soft, glossy, beautiful plant, and I felt really joyous every time I watered it.
And thus, the other night at dinner, I popped a bite of garden-fresh pesto into my mouth, and realized with the alarm of a mother who’s accidently bitten her baby, that I was eating my little buddy.
Disclaimer: I’m not vegan, I’m not even always vegetarian. Yet, this one spoonful of pesto did me in.
I ate it, and even as it went into my mouth, I felt everything about that little basil plant: its sweetness and its love, and I put the spoon down in wonder and in shock, and it took me a while to feel okay about having another bite.
When we start to wake up, as so many are right now, these unexpected leaps forward in understanding become common; one day it’s fine to eat meat, the next it’s not. One day dairy is okay, the next it feels sickening. One day it’s no big deal to eat a vegetable, the next you’re having a full-on spiritual response to the plant, its energy and its essence, even as you’re eating it and it’s becoming part of your body.
We are all interconnected.
There is no way out of this.
There is only the greater understanding of Oneness, become more clear every day.
P.S. Last days to get Earlybird Savings on the Beyond Words cruise.
Several generations ago, the normal route was to get married to one person very young, have children if possible, and stay together until death.
There wasn’t divorce.
There wasn’t living single.
Heck, there wasn’t even birth control.
Back then, our life expectancy was shorter, so we started earlier: we got married young, and had families, and we died young, too. There wasn’t time for more than one partner.
Besides, the survival of the family as a unit depended on staying together; the survival of the tribe, of the lineage, depended on marriage, procreation, monogamy.
So that’s what our ancestors did, faced with the realities they had.
But were our parents, grandparents, great grandparents happy?
Well, from the look on my great-grandparents faces in the one sepia photograph I have of them… well, let’s just say they were scowling.
They did not look happy.
They looked committed.
Not to each other, necessarily.
But to the future generations that they would see to survive.
Nowadays, we’ve got a really different set of evolutionary needs. Overpopulation is real problem in many areas; under population is a problem in others. We’re living longer than we even thought possible in some regions. We have more literacy than we ever had.
We’re opening up to all kinds of new possibilities for gender, sexual orientation, childlessness, single life… many all different ways of living.
So, the question remains: when we take all the restrictions and reasons for marriage and monogamy out of the question, does it still makes sense for humans to go that route?
I think we’re in the process of figuring this out.
For some people, finding the true Beloved isn’t the priority. They prefer a single life that’s fulfilled and rich.
For others, one person also isn’t the path. They may be in several or lots of love relationships over a lifetime.
For others, the deep soul mate is the priority in their lives, and they will move heaven and earth to find that person. It is their quest, their desire and their raison d’être to be with that one true Beloved.
The rules have change, because the reality has changed.
How you live has become a personal choice, with only one thing clear: Your grandparents aren’t going to decide for you.
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It is very easy to get so busy or so distracted, that you neglect to make time to be with the person you love most.
For example, let’s pretend you’re a hamster, monumentally in love with another hamster: all you want to do is nestle in the wood shavings and be cozy.
But one day you wake up from hamster bliss, and find a hamster wheel in your cage.
Pretty soon, you or your hamster soul mate tries it out, and starts running.
A little while later, the other one of you tries it, and pretty soon, the distraction of the run-but-don’t-get-anywhere hamster wheel starts to take over your lives.
I mean, it’s a good thing to not just lay around in the wood shavings all day!
It’s great to have things you want to do!
It’s great to have interests you want to engage it!
But in this example, we’re not talking about deep purpose, life’s work, meaningful stuff.
We’re talking about a hamster wheel: it’s all momentum, no real moving.
It’s just a distraction.
And it’s a very addictive one, because it makes you think you’re moving forward, even when you’re not.
So, anyhow…. one day it so happens that one of you wants to snuggle in the wood shavings, but the other one is like “uh, I’ve got three more laps, honey.”
And boom: there begins the cycle of distraction-neglect-loneliness-distraction instead of intimacy.
If you’re a human, your hamster wheel might be overscheduling, busyness, social media, go-go-go, do-do-do. All the stuff that keep us running, without really getting anywhere.
You might find yourself saying things like “I’m craaaaaaazy busy!” and over time, this addiction to busyness makes it harder and harder to connect you’re your partner.
Now this is fine, if you want to stay in the cycle of distraction-neglect-loneliness-distraction.
But, if you are committed to connecting with your Beloved, then you are going to need to get off the hamster wheel and start connecting.
And it’s scary, because it can be very vulnerable to engage with another person. It’s much easier to be busy, or on to the next thing.
This hamster parable isn’t about sex either, although that’s part of it.
Sexual intimacy is one of the ways we can get the very closest to another person, the way we can reveal ourselves at the deepest level. But general intimacy: being there, talking, listening, holding hands, sitting near each other, hanging out with each other… those are big parts of intimacy, too.
If you’re craaaaaaazy busy, always running around and wondering why you’re feeling lonely and unsettled… check which hamster wheel you’re on.
Usually, slowing down and opening up makes every relationship better.
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In which everyone runs around trying to do what everyone else is doing, because they are afraid that everyone else is having a better time than they are.
FOMO has been around since Caveman A made fire and Caveman B wanted a piece of the action, but it’s been exacerbated by social media and this new 24/7 connection that we now have with anyone, anywhere in the world.
It used to be that FOMO paced slower: we’d read about celebrities and their glamorous lives in magazines, but issues came out monthly, so there was a lot of downtime.
Sure, the A-List was something to aspire to, but it didn’t seem real: they were Them, and we were us, doing our humble little lives of non-celebrityness.
Nowadays, everyone’s a celebrity, everyone’s out doing unique and exciting things. Even a Subaru commercial is more exciting that most people’s day-to-day!
And it’s not that all these FOMO events are all that exciting: there’s a lot of press on Kim Kardashian taking her kid to ballet class, for example, and believe me: I have taken kids to ballet class, and it is not all that it’s cracked up to be!
So here we have it:
Everyone looks like a rock star or an artist or a model, even if they’re not.
Everyone seems super interesting, even if they’re not.
Everyone looks like they’re having way more fun than you are.
And this causes most of us to feel this intensive, anxious, FOMO.
Like, what if my life isn’t cool enough?
What if my friends aren’t interesting enough?
What if my trip to the grocery store doesn’t look like a cool trip to the grocery store?
And so on.
If we take it a step further, FOMO makes us afraid to get out of the game, because downtime is boring, isn’t it?
And take it a bit further, to where we’re really at:
Will I even exist, if I am not in this continuous swirl of group energy?
Will I even exist, if I am not constantly tethered to group thought?
Will I be anyone, if I stop being everyone?
Welcome to Oneness. We’re all One, all the time, and we’re just getting use to the idea. FOMO is one way we feel pulled by the energy of Oneness: we feel the urge to merge with everyone, and we’re afraid that if we aren’t in group energy, we won’t exist.
If you’re feeling FOMO, relax. Oneness doesn’t go away. We’re in it, the cosmic energy soup of everyone and everything, always, whether we want to be or not.
The bigger truth is this: we can’t get separate, even if we wanted to.
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We sometimes think that our Soul fills our body: we imagine that our aura or energy or essence fills the human container, the same way water might fill a cup.
This is a good practice for when you want to focus on being really embodied: right here, right now, in the human container.
And yet, the thing is: our Soul is much bigger than our body!
Recently, I had the delight of taking my small group students on an interesting meditation, in which we expanded out of the body, into the room, and became one not just with the space in the room, but with everything in it: the desk, the chair, the computer, the cat.
We dissolved into energy particulate, which is of course also Soul, and became One with all That, which is also us.Then we expanded bigger, to the surrounding area. Then bigger still, to a few mile radius around us.
Our soul expanded to several miles in all directions, and we became One with everything in this radius: the tree, the building, the car: Soul merged with All, knew it All, experienced it All, because Soul is That.
Soul isn’t just contained in our bodies.
Soul is infinitely expanded.
In this meditation we went out a few miles; but really, there’s nowhere Soul can’t expand to, because it’s unlimited.
All space. All matter. All time.
And when we exist from Soul self, that’s you! That’s me! That’s us!
It’s a great thing, to realize we are more than just Soul in body.
We’re Soul in Universe.
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When you are trying to live a life of balance and peace, there is nothing more challenging to deal with than a crazymaker.
Julia Cameron used the term “crazymaker” in her book The Artist’s Way, when she wrote about how chaotic personalities can derail artists.
However, crazymakers are equally destructive for all of us sensitives, empaths, intuitives… all of us who feel everything all the time.
As sensitives, we empathically feel the energy of a crazymaker, and this energy does not make sense to us, because its vibration is chaos, and sometimes it is chaos mixed with darkness.
There are crazymakers who aren’t dark: they’re flaky and inconsistent and self-absorbed, but they’re not malicious: they’re just off in their own little world.
These types of crazymakers are annoying, but if you have good boundaries, they won’t affect you much. You might feel slightly anxious or even nauseated when you’re around them, but it’s not intentional. They’re not trying to hurt you.
But dark crazymakers, often lumped under the broader categories of narcissists and sociopaths, are another story.
These folks work hard to bring chaos to your life. For example, some politicians are crazymakers; they’ve learned to use crazymaking as a tool to distract from what they’re really doing.
There are crazymakers in your own life who also take delight in creating chaos: maybe a family member, a partner, a friend, a colleague.
The thing is, crazymakers love empaths, sensitives and intuitives, because we’re so easy to tweak!
Empaths, sensitives and intuitives are often way too nice for our own good; we put up with the bad behavior of others because we are too polite to say “no.”
Yet there is no reason any of us have to be in energy that is chaotic, destructive, demeaning, dark, or evil.
If you haven’t said “no” yet to the crazymaker in your life, today is a great day to start.
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When was the last time you got naked with yourself?
Not naked with someone else, such as in sexuality.
Not naked at a wild and crazy festival where this often common.
Not naked in nature, where there’s no one around.
Just you, naked.
Not paying any particular attention to being naked.
Not involved in any big naked activity.
Just you, not wearing any clothes.
Nowadays, we aren’t naked very often.
Unless you’re in a warm climate or maybe have a beach lifestyle, most of us keep a steady pace from shower to towel to clothing: it’s not that we mind being naked, it’s just that it’s our habit to put on clothes quickly.
Maybe we have to get to work.
Maybe there are others in the house.
Maybe it just doesn’t feel right.
Maybe we’re not comfortable in our bodies.
And this idea of not being comfortable in our bodies, of not being comfortable in our own skin.
Why, this is very skin we are born with, the skin that covers our organs and muscle and blood, the skin that has expanded from baby to our current size and been our boundary, our living protector of inside from outside, our whole lives.
Being naked isn’t some crazy weird thing you do with body paint at Burning Man. It’s your body, without one vestige of cultural conditioning upon it. It’s your body, as you were born.
Accepting our bodies is one of the ways we accept ourselves.
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A while back, Vogue magazine ran an article on natural hair: hair that isn’t treated, colored, curled or straightened. Hair that just does its thing, without artifice or control.
As a person with curly hair, this made me very happy!
It’s not so much that fashion, which often uses artifice as art, is a bad thing: I personally think fashion can be an amazing way to express one’s uniqueness.
But, it’s nice to see authenticity showing up as a trend, instead of conformity. This idea that who we are is enough, no further changes needed.
You know, curly hair (and probably straight hair or any kind of hair) does its own thing.Every day is just a little bit different due to the shims of the wave, and no amount of gel or mousse or spray, or even the most diligent application of heating tools seems to make a difference. After fifteen minutes or so, it’s back to its regular curl pattern.
And this to me, seems the ultimate sign of the Universe: if something wants to curl, needs to curl and does curl… why on earth would we struggle against it?
To be in Flow, is to wear our hair as it desires to be.
Long, short, curly, straight.
Blonde, brown, white, blue.
Dread. Shaved. Heishi knot.
Spiritually speaking too, hair is often deemed our spiritual antenna: one of the ways that we easily tune into the energies of the Universe.
As you can see in this photo of my daughter and me years ago, my hair had some crazy antenna that day!
What I notice is that when we allow ourselves to step out of conformity and simply be who we are… then that’s when we’re more in tune with the Universe.
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Sara Wiseman blogs about spirituality and intuition several days a week. Get award-winning Daily Divine delivered to your inbox, plus receive a FREE ebook!