I've been re-united with my high school sweetheart/fiance after twenty years. Since he's come in to my life, I've been really happy and it seems that other situations have gotten better, and I'm pretty sure it has to do with his strong, calm, loving and insightful presence in my life. I really want this to be the real thing this time that lasts, and so does he. I've made some poor choices in life and I'm having trouble trusting that this one won't blow up in my face too. How can I tell we are definitely on the right track?
Thanks for your help -Andi
You sent a two-part question, so I'm answering the second part here, as it's very common question. Usually, most often when we reconnect with people from the past, it doesn't work out. Now, I know we've all heard about the high school sweetheart who tracks us down 20 years later, or even when we are well into our 70s, 80s, more. These are beautiful stories.
But, in most cases, the attraction is simply about a) revisiting or completing the karmic lesson between you, or b) a projection or fantasy of old energies.
Let's look at the first, revisiting the karmic lesson. When we reconnect with people from the past, we have the chance to finish our complete our karma, in ways that we didn't have the capability of doing when we were younger. We didn't know enough, we weren't wise enough, we weren't developed enough. Now, we're older, wiser, stronger... and we can finally see what we should have in the first place, or do what we should have.
For example, I know a woman who was in love with a narcissist in high school, but back then she didn't know what a narcissist was. Years later, he tracked her down on Facebook, and they started to rekindle the flame. However, this time, she was able to spot the warning signs of his narcissism, and was able to address it with him directly. It didn't change him, and they did end a short relationship. But in the end, they went their separate ways, with their karma complete.
I feel this situation, is what is happening to you. It's not around narcissism, it's more around one person in a relationship taking on the role of the calm supporter, while the other person leans heavily on this support. It's really not balanced—it's nice to have someone who is your rock, but it's not fair to the rock to always have to be in support role.
There needs to be more give and take, more ability for both parties to have full self expression and opportunity.
In situation b) a projection of fantasy or old energy, the relationship is really a mirage of what was. Neither of the people exist any more. You are not the person you were 20 years ago, and no one else is either. So to go down memory lane is a false reality.
I know you want to believe your relationship is real, but it is important to look at your current roles, and if this is really what you and he want. You might check out my course Heal Your Love & Relationship Karma; that might help you see this more clearly.