I have been listening to work by people who are inspired by A Course in Miracles. They speak about "forgiveness". How do you view "forgiveness"? And why is the act of "forgiveness" so hard?
Appreciate your insight. —Nancy
I'm very interested in this question. I was taught forgiveness from childhood, as were many of us raised in the US. But when I received The 33 Lessons in meditation,, the guides were very clear that the term was not quite right.
Instead of forgiveness, they used the term compassion.
We don't forgive another person, we have compassion for that person and for ourselves.
It's a fairly small difference.. but it makes sense to me.
Ours is not to forgive; we aren't above another person.
We are all equally Divine, each a part of One.
But it can always be ours to have compassion.
To "forgive" is also not honest energy exchange. Sometimes, it gives us the reward or feeling of being "good" when we forgive.
But compassion, there is no reward. It simply accepting that we are One, all of us. And that what affects one affects the One... we are all human, all souls, all having same experience of pain, confusion, growth, and so on. All the same.
If you want to go deep in this understanding, check out my book The Four Passages of the Heart.
I'm in my mid 50's and always keep my eyes out for someone to love but never find anyone. In my mid 20's I was engage to a really great guy. We would have married but between the Church and families and moving our plans just got derailed. After that I thought I was in love a few times but they really didn't love me. They just didn't. In 1998 I adopted a daughter on my own because I desperately wanted children. She is the love of my life. But I really wanted a whole family. So in 2000 I found someone who seemed to love me and I loved him, too. I liked him a lot and we clicked immediately. At that time I had everything I wanted in life for a very short while, but 9/11 happened and we had financial problems, and he had sexual problems and snoring problems as well, which derailed us and we broke up. I haven't found anyone since. I just don't love anyone anymore. It's not something I can force either. Do you see me ever having a real love life again in my life. And when - because I've been lonely so very long.—Madison
First, I want you to look at who is in your immediate soul circle, and who your true soul mates or primary souls are there. Sometimes, people live their lives with the most important relationships as non-romantic relationships. In your case, you have a very deep karma with your adopted daughter—she is one of your primary soul mates. Much of your life has been about her. Just look at this, and recognize—you have not been alone as a soul. This soul, your daughter, is on of your primary soul mates.
Next... It feels like you are so different from who you were in your 20s, but you're still using some of the old ideas in searching for a new partner. This is why it's not working. You need to search for a partner who matches the you that is NOW, not the you of your 20s, 30s, 40s. There are a lot of old belief systems about the role of a man, what a man should be, what a good marriage is, what a good partner is... that you can just let go... just release them. Let them all cease in your mind, because they aren't real any more.
To do this, it's important to do self work. I would suggest you do The 33 Lessons from my book Writing the Divine. This will really help you sort out who you are now, and what you are really looking for.
When you let go of those old beliefs, the energy will start to move very fast.
I love your show. I listen to your podcasts, and I have really been enjoying your recent shows about Our Divine Posse, and letting go without fault or blame.
I have a question about meditation. When I'm meditating, I'm sometimes confused as to whether I should be visualizing to manifest my desires, or should I keep my mind still and wait for the thoughts to come?
Should these be separate meditation times such as one specifically for just visualzing for manifestation, and then a separate meditation time for stillness of mind?
Thank you for your help—Kathy
You are very astute to see the different ways of meditating. I would describe it as:
• We can meditate for bliss—this is what happens when we use mantra, or go into very deep trance, or just let the mind sort of have "no thought". This is great, and I highly recommend it.
• We can meditate for information—this is what happens when we use the techniques of intuitive gathering, or what I call spiritual intuition. In this kind of meditation, we don't go into a very deep trance. We actually use techniques to gather information. This is the same place we go when we manifest.
In my own practice, sometimes I meditate for bliss... it's nice, it's fun and it's very healing.
Or, sometimes I start by doing some intuitive gathering, and then when I'm done gathering information about whatever my questions are, I might go deeper into trance and just enjoy the connection with the Divine.
You can learn how to do this in more depth in my book Becoming Your Best Self.
I just purchased the Spiritual Psychic course by Sara Wiseman! I did her first lesson today which was Lesson 1: Clairaudience. I thoroughly enjoyed her lesson and since I have been studying about psychic abilities for a year now I decided to start developing my own abilities.
I did her exercise but when I asked my questioned and waited for the answer. I did not receive one. I often times did little exercises like these in the past and nothing seemed to happen either even though I had a psychic reading a month ago and he told me that I was definetly psychic and could be as good as him in a year.
So please help me succeed with my dream. What seems to be the block?
I did want to let you know that 2 nights ago as I got starting to drift off in bed I heard a beautiful male voice.. A very calming and soothing voice saying "we have messages for you" then the voice said "Travvvvvv!!!" I actually got so excited I woke up out of my little trance that I was in as I was going to sleep. It seems though when I try to get into this trance and tell my guides/angels I am doing so in order to contact them I end up not being able to hear them.
Anyways just wanted to tell you where I am at so far in the course! Sincerely—Travis
Intuitive development is truly a skill you can learn, just like painting, or playing the piano, or learning to cook.
In the beginning you have to follow the directions or the recipe, but once you have practiced enough, you can do it with ease, all the time.
The key is—keep practicing! Practice daily, or several times a day, and do this consistently over time, and the veil will open for you, and you will begin to understand the language of the Universe. It can also be useful to read some of my books while you are doing the courses, as people receive information in different ways.
I have been struggling with this issue for quite some time, five years to be exact.
Five years ago I left my husband of almost 12 years for another man, I told my husband I was leaving and the same day I moved in with this other man.
In my marriage I had been feeling many things that you have stated in lesson 4, such as the relationship feels flat, not physically attracted, living in the same house but the bulk of the time is spent apart-- him in one part of the house and me in another this sort of stuff had been happening for a number of years. But there was more stuff that had happened between us, loss of babies, he never wanted to do anything fun.
I just up and told him it was over and I told him I was not in love with him anymore. But I feel such guilt for what I have done. Can you tell me why I have soo much guilt for what I did when the relationship was obviously over? Can you offer me any healing insight to this?
By the way the second relationship is not very good either.
Thanks so much for allowing me to ask you this question.
I'm not surprised that the second relationship is not working the way you thought it would.
It feels that you have some unfinished business with your ex husband; I think there was so much grief that you were dealing with because of the loss of babies, that you turned inward, he could not help you or reach you, and the marriage ended. I think the trauma you experienced was not any fault of yours, or his; it was that the trauma was too much to bear, and it was too much for the relationship to bear.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
I think also, that you met this new man (new back then) as a way of simply making yourself feel better. You were in so much pain, and he was or seemed like a lifetime to just stopping the pain.
When you think about it, and with absolutely no judgement, your ex husband had to go through double pain, when you left. The pain of all that loss, and then the loss of you.
Just very hard all the way around.
However... now, you're in a new place. If you think the second relationship can be saved, then you'll have to get in there and renegotiate what you want. I sense that there is a lot of lower vibration behavior going on, avoidance, electronica, various addictions. It feels pretty stuck. So, just determine if it's stuck by you can renegotiate based on who you are now, or if it needs to be done. I can't see which way it will go; it isn't decided yet.
But... the real work is in going back and looking at the pain from what you experience in your marriage, and looking at this with new eyes, one last time. I'm sure it doesn't sound pleasant to go back and look, but it is the only way you can more forward. I would suggest you work through my course Heal Your Love & Relationship Karma. It will help you resolve some of this.
I'm 45 and miserably alone. Married at 19 yrs old for 15 yrs. Divorced now for 10 yrs. He broke my heart and shattered my dreams. After l divorced l met a older man who l fell in love with and everything was wonderful with him. One thing he is married. Promised me for years he would divorce her. He hasn't done the first step. So my question is what the heck am l supposed to do. Wait or run? What if l never find a man who gets me like that? I'm so depressed and lonely. Thank you—Lily
Many folks have been surprised how much impact getting divorced can have—even if it's the right choice, it can be sort derailing of where your life was going, where you thought your life was going. Sometimes it takes a long time to get back on track.
The first thing for you to look at is to determine if you are actually, truly "clear" from your marriage. I don't sense that you are. There is an adage that it takes six months for every year of relationship, to fully become "clear" energetically; I have found this to be a fair estimate. It takes much, much longer than we realize.
Your first step is to dive back in, and get that old relationship cleared up. You can do this pretty easily with my course Heal Your Love & Relationship Karma.
The next thing is to let go of that married man. He will never, never, ever leave his wife. I'm sorry about that, but it's just not going to happen. He makes you feel good, bur really only on his terms... he's not a true partner, and if he really "got" you, he would not be keeping you on a string. It's a waste of your time to be in a relationship that cannot move forward. Again, it's not going to move forward; he will not ever leave his wife.
Break off with him as soon as you can... and clear the energy of that relationship.
Once you are clear of both of these karmic situations: clearing from your ex, clearing from your affair, you will begin to be in a place where you can create a new, real, true relationship. To do this, I would suggest that you first simply begin to have direct connection with the Divine: prayer, meditation, going in talking with your guides and angels. The course and book above also help with this.
No relationship—at least no healthy relationship—will come to you until you have done the above work a) the clearing and b) the connection. You will be surprised how quickly the energy moves, and how quickly your life begins to change, when you take care of this stuck, old energy.
Thank you for the work you do. There is something confusing that happened to me the other day I wanted to ask you about.
I separated and divorced in 2008. This was followed by a complicated court case for parental custody as my children did not want to see their father after a traumatic incident they had with their father after we had divorced. He has some psychological issues that led to complicate his relationship with them. The outcome of the court case was given in early 2012. My 3 children see their father now once a month, this arrangement seems to be working for them. I hold no ill feelings towards their father and feel compassion towards him and feel that the experiences I shared him have helped me grow and my children grow. I was told by an intuitive when I separated that my marriage was a karmic relationship, I can see that now.
My main focus over the last years has been dealing with my children’s issues, supporting as them as best I could together with professional counseling sessions and a supportive extended family. It was difficult for me seeing how my girls became the unintended victims of my marriage break up. My children (16,15,10) all girls are well now and seem to have become so strong. In the process we all became a lot more spiritually aware, intuitive and insightful for their age. The relationship I enjoy with my daughters now is amazing and I can truly say we are really good friends and share so many great moments together and enjoy each others company.
I did a lot of work myself through prayer, becoming more spiritually aware and trying to develop a semi-regular meditation practice. I thought I had done a lot of progress including taking better care of myself. And starting to explore some of those activities I enjoyed before I married such as painting and photography. I feel so much happier now.
A family friend asked me about a month ago that it would be a good idea to start dating again. She wanted me to meet a guy who is related to her husband. At first I was reluctant and about after a month agreed to it. She gave me a lot of information about him and he seemed OK. The date was a double blind date so at no time I was alone. The guy was really nice, respectful, good listener etc. But I found the experience very difficult, I had feelings of anxiety several times during the evening and even went to the toilet to give myself a break a couple of times. I am not sure why I felt this way. The environment was safe. As I drove off I felt an intense sadness and cried.
The next day I felt exhausted and felt like crying some more. I thought I had already dealt with the break up and the aftermath. That interacting with other adults outside of work or family would be good. I feel a bit let down as I thought that all the work I had put in over the last few years had worked. I am also thinking on having a few counseling sessions to explore this as I am really confused about my reaction to the whole event. I am really not sure what happened if this was something to do with me, with my date or both. Or maybe I have tried too early and am not ready yet for a new relationship, how will I know when I am ready?
I have read your books and enjoy listening to your podcasts as I live in Australia I download them. They are always so very helpful and inspiring.
Thank you for all the help you give. —Cassandra
I think that your reaction to trying dating is very normal. The dating experience re-triggered all the issues that you faced when you were married, and when you divorced.
You've been indentifying yourself as strong mother since 2008; but the dating experience put you into a place where this was not the role. Instead, you had to once again see yourself not as mother, but as lover, partner, woman. It brought up a lot of the old hurt, the wounding, the fear and the vulnerability.
I am not a psychologist, but I see that you may have some trauma around men and intimacy from your past, and this has been triggered by trying to date. It would be worth it to work with someone on this.
Many times we clear so much spiritually, but there is further work to do as we come into new situations. The dating attempt showed you this... that there is more karmic clearing to do, and more healing.
The good news is that this isn't permanent, and you are working your way through it very well. Be gentle with yourself, and understand that healing takes not only time, but it comes in different waves, with different things to be resolved.
I would also say that all relationships are karmic—not just with your ex. Karma is not a bad thing; it is just when we have lessons to work through with others. And of course, we always have soul lessons to work through with others!
I'd like to see if you can a) get some help to solved this trigger about men, and b) try to meet some men outside of the realms of dating. That's too much pressure. See if there are other ways you can meet men in a different kind of social situation, such as at a workshop, class, activity you are interested in, etc. and c) remember that you have all the time you need.
No rush, if you are not yet ready. You might also find help in my course Heal Your Love & Relationship Karma.
Ask Sara with Sara Wiseman
Ask Sara is answered personally by Sara Wiseman, and shows you how to apply the concepts of spiritual intuition to everyday life.